"I got ashes on my forehead"

Well, I had ashes on my forehead on Wednesday, but I suppose in some sense I still do. The big news here of course is that for the first time in three years, I received those ashes at church. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for the first (and second) time I have left the house and rejoined society. Allow me to explain . . .

On Saturday, Feb. 2, I went to the coffeehouse held after our church's Saturday night service. This marked the first time I had gone anywhere other than a hospital or doctor's office since I had surgery in January of 2005. I stayed a little less than an hour and heard a few different people sing. In fact when I walked in, Shoof was playing, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone . . ." which seems eerily appropriate. Anyway I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in forever. Kinda weird actually, to be back out in the world, but good weird.

Since Saturday's excursion went well, I decided to attend the Ash Wednesday service at Hope as well. This was a bit more taxing, but I'm glad I went. Lent is my favorite season of the church year anyway, and it felt really good to be back in a proper sanctuary, singing hymns, and being with all the other church folks. I don't think I realized how much I had missed it until I got back to it.

This finally brings me to what was intended to be the point all along -- Lent. I mentioned already that it was my favorite season, and I think that's because it's very introspective. I know a lot of people give something up for Lent, but I never really have. I guess I just never felt that forgoing chocolate would bring me closer to God. Well, this year I would like to take a Lenten journey, although it's not exactly giving something up. I would like to find the quiet. I'm not sure where it's gone. My TiVo and my iPod seem to fill in all the gaps nowadays and without the silence, I think I'm forgetting how to listen. So, for the next forty days, I'm going to spend less time with tv and music running for background noise as I usually do. I'm afraid all this multi-tasking may be killing my creativity. I hope to spend some time communing with my new blank book, and maybe even hearing God . . . in the quiet.

"And I will follow out of love
'cause there is nothing I can earn
I got ashes on my forehead
and I'm trying hard to learn"
~Jonathan Rundman, "Ashes"